Marble Jar

“My love can’t be purchased… Best gifts have been well-thought-out surprises.” Nina Dobrev

I woke up this morning with one thing in mind and that was to begin my spring cleaning.  I made my breakfast and sat at the dining room table sipping on a diet coke and gazing into the back yard.  It’s a beautiful day and it is clear that spring is here as the perennials are starting to bloom.

My sights were set on cleaning my little library so I started to remove books and knickknacks off of the shelves when I came upon a marble jar that was given to me by my loved one.  The jar was one of several gifts received on my birthday five or six years prior to his death.  As I picked it up and began dusting, I decided to look inside.

As I opened the jar, I remembered all the little pieces of torn card stock and how each piece had a hand written message in gold ink.  One by one I pull out the pieces of paper and read the contents.  His thoughts, his love and his sense of humor were all there with personalized messages just for me. 

His thoughts, his love and his sense of humor were all there. Click To Tweet

The jar contained everything from the thirteen I Love You’s to ‘I couldn’t find a dust buster.’ However; when I got to the torn piece of paper with “Isn’t this romantic” I began to cry.

I sit in my library reliving the memory of this birthday gift.  What I do remember is that when I first received all the presents this marble jar was the one that I liked the least.  Little did I know that of all the gifts to be received on that day this would be the only one I remember and the one that I cherish the most.  

Reading through each piece of paper gave me an opportunity to embrace the memories of that day.  I was painfully reminded of his absence; however, what was still there and what I clearly felt was his love for me.

 

What have I learned?

I learned that I can survive my uncomfortable feeling by feeling them.  That I have a god of my understanding that has always been there and never left my side.  That I have more friends than I thought who continue to reach out and remind me that I am never alone.