The Unattended Concert

“Complete strangers can stand silent next to each other in an elevator and not even look each other in the eye. But at a concert, those same strangers could find themselves dancing and singing together like best friends. That’s the power of music.” LZ Granderson


Music was always something that my loved one and I had in common. Even though the genre we enjoyed was different, we loved listening to music at home, in the car, and especially at live venues. Some of my fondest memories continue to be our evenings out at a favorite restaurant followed by a concert. Attending these concerts was a fantastic shared experience and one of the many joys of our marriage.

Attending these concerts were one of the many joys of our marriage. Click To Tweet

Knowing how much he loved concerts and how tenuous his health was the last ten years of his life, we made a concerted effort to buy tickets several months in advance so we could have something to look forward to. However, as his illness progressed, we found that accommodations had to be made, including a place to rest, oxygen, and wheelchair access so we could continue to enjoy going out. There were times that these accommodations made things difficult and, on occasion, so much so that we were unable to attend. But we continued to try, and most of the time, we were able to enjoy the evening out.

My loved one was dead set on attending a rock concert. We both loved the bands playing, and the show was in this beautiful outside theater. The amphitheater seats were in the middle of a field of pine and oak trees. So, I bought two wheelchair-accessible tickets, and the countdown began for our next adventure. However, two weeks before the concert, he had pneumonia, and he never got better.

Today is the anniversary of what would have been the last rock concert that we would have attended. I hold these unused tickets in my hand, and feelings of loss immediately surface. I recognize that he is not only gone from my life, but so is the music that had once filled it. It’s funny how it took today to notice that this was missing from my life.

I hold these unused tickets in my hand and feelings of loss immediately surface. Click To Tweet

I summoned the courage to do something different and getting on my computer I found a concert I wanted to attend. As I clicked on the purchase button, I found myself smiling even though it was two months away. What occurs to me is that, like before, I now have something to look forward to.

Marble Jar

“My love can’t be purchased… Best gifts have been well-thought-out surprises.” Nina Dobrev

I woke up this morning with one thing in mind and that was to begin my spring cleaning.  I made my breakfast and sat at the dining room table sipping on a diet coke and gazing into the back yard.  It’s a beautiful day and it is clear that spring is here as the perennials are starting to bloom.

My sights were set on cleaning my little library so I started to remove books and knickknacks off of the shelves when I came upon a marble jar that was given to me by my loved one.  The jar was one of several gifts received on my birthday five or six years prior to his death.  As I picked it up and began dusting, I decided to look inside.

As I opened the jar, I remembered all the little pieces of torn card stock and how each piece had a hand written message in gold ink.  One by one I pull out the pieces of paper and read the contents.  His thoughts, his love and his sense of humor were all there with personalized messages just for me. 

His thoughts, his love and his sense of humor were all there. Click To Tweet

The jar contained everything from the thirteen I Love You’s to ‘I couldn’t find a dust buster.’ However; when I got to the torn piece of paper with “Isn’t this romantic” I began to cry.

I sit in my library reliving the memory of this birthday gift.  What I do remember is that when I first received all the presents this marble jar was the one that I liked the least.  Little did I know that of all the gifts to be received on that day this would be the only one I remember and the one that I cherish the most.  

Reading through each piece of paper gave me an opportunity to embrace the memories of that day.  I was painfully reminded of his absence; however, what was still there and what I clearly felt was his love for me.